Thursday, September 17, 2009

Survival

The birthday chain. I couldn't figure out a better way to make concrete the very abstract concept that her birthday is soon, but not very soon. Ellie has faithfully and gleefully removed a link each night for the past month or so, consistently exclaiming, "It's almost my birthday!" each time and "I can't reach [the top of the chain] yet, but soon I'll be four and then I can reach it!"

My fondest vision associated with our distant dream of being homeowners is having an expansive backyard, complete with expansive garden. If the previous owners wouldn't mind readying the soil and planting the seeds, that garden might actually happen. Anyway, we've loved being benefactors of our friends' gardens this summer.
Ellie was fully prepared to frolic through the sprinkler a la nude, but thankfully Kjerstin's tankini top brought the meaning of "one size fits all" to a new level.


The days of bathing Char in a small toy bin got old real fast. We are all smiles about this current arrangement.


Mostly smiles.

After writing this post so far I feel my original topic is moot, because once all my kids are sleeping, life is easy, breezy, and beautiful again. Still, I know where I'll be again emotionally from dawn 'til dusk tomorrow, so I better still throw this out there.

Remember in this post how I said motherhood is so great and I'm only stressed out twenty minutes a day? Well, motherhood is still great, but I'm frazzled, frustrated, falling asleep on the job, or otherwise overwhelmed for more like 200 minutes a day now. Since Kyle's been employed (which has been wonderful and totally worth losing his help at home), I am finally feeling what it's like to take care of three little kids all day. And it's a doozy, to say the least.

I am still happy and no one's gotten injured yet, but I feel like my home is in a constant state of chaos with, at all times, at least one child throwing a screaming tantrum and at least one other child being dangerously neglected. I feel so sorry for my children because I can't be there for any of them the way I want to, I feel sorry for myself because I feel exhausted in ways I've never known before, I feel sorry for Kyle, Mish, and Bob who have to pick up the slack, I feel sorry for my laundry and dishes that have to fester in their own filth for days (if not weeks) before getting washed, and it's all just one, big sorry mess.

Don't get me wrong-- I'm not on the verge of a nervous breakdown (though sometimes I wonder...), and I'm still smiling and laughing when I can, but I'm not functioning on the level I'd like to, or need to. Readers of my blog more strong, wise, and experienced than I-- please share your advice on how to survive this transition!!!

9 comments:

Joe and Christie said...

Errr...obviously no advice from this almost-first-timer, but I just wanted to say that I think you're doing great even if you don't.

You're a fantastic Mom and I hope that you're being mentally kind to yourself instead of worrying about dishes.

(I hate doing the dishes!)

Mary said...

No clue about how to survive, just know that I love and pray for you. You're amazing and your kids are so lucky to have you as a mom!!!!!

blaine and michelle said...

I have the same issues and thus have no great advice. Don't feel bad about the dishes (or laundry or whatever it nay be) because it's just not possible to do it all. Something's gotta go and that stuff is wayyy down the priority list. You're awesome. I love you!!

sara said...

You mean it's not ok to have screaming kids? I kind of thought that was normal. Sorry I got nothing for you. I only have a turtle! Is it too late for you to start over and stick with an aquatic pet?

Cathi said...

I have no advice, just admiration. Having only one is crazy enough sometimes. I guess just take it one day at a time and remember what all of those Ensign articles say about dishes and laundry- they can wait; your kids will be grown before you know it. Love you.

Devin, Naomi and Spencer said...

You are one of my favorite people because you always jump in with a smile to any and every situation I hope that our family will be running as WELL as yours is when our second baby arrives (we find out what we are having Oct 7!)

Oh and what is Kyles new job, we would love to hear about it!

na

Marilyn said...

Well, I can barely remember those days. All I can remember is that it was wonderful and that my kids were perfect. :) Just think, one day you will be an empty nester and will also, only be able to remember the good stuff.

megantonesforever said...

Not a clue on how to get through motherhood, but I'm right there with ya!

the Rew Crew said...

Darling, it is called a babysitter. Once a week. soooooo worth the money.

Or, you could do a mother's helper (might be cheaper) and have someone hang around a few hours a week to help you out so you have an extra set of hands.

Either way, sooooo worth the money.