Thursday, June 30, 2011

Boy or girl? Wouldn't you like to know?

So, today was the big day! I woke up enormously excited and anxious for my ultra sound. I even got to leave all the kids behind at a friend's house and made it to the ultra sound office in forty minutes (including the time it took to figure out I had the wrong address and had gone in the completely wrong direction, and the time to pull over at a gas station to buy a liter of water I suddenly recalled I was supposed to already have drank that morning to prep for the ultrasound).

Upon my arrival at the office, the receptionist informed me that I did not indeed have an appointment because my insurance refused to cover this visit. She said she had tried to call me on my cell but had some sort of phone error (which must have been on her end because I've successfully received many incoming calls today). Then she told me to just reschedule for another four weeks out and hope that the insurance issues worked themselves out by then.

I'm generally a nice-ish person, but I was not feeling very nice at this moment. What I had gone through physically this morning to get there was only a part of it. When you are (under the influence of pregnancy hormones and) anticipating something so whole-heartedly, you feel as though even when that moment of revelation arrives, you could not possibly wait another moment for it. Let alone another MONTH.

I excused myself into the hallway to cry. I was thankfully able to get a hold of Kyle who, being the kind and wise husband that he is, encouraged me to just pay for it out-of-pocket and be seen today. (He just didn't want to deal with the emotional monster I would be for the next month if I didn't get to see my baby TODAY. Wise man.)

Well, they still discouraged me from being seen today, but I'm a fighter so finally, at approximately the time that my bladder of 32 oz of water was about to burst, Jessica called me in.

Jessica is a nice person (she did let me pee after she captured the necessary images), although not nearly as interested in celebrating my baby as I wanted her to be (read: not very talkative. I had to pry every piece of information out of her.) The first obstacle, though, was the layout of the room. Tell me if this makes sense: the screen is completely oriented away from the patient so there I lay in silence, belly covered in goo, while Jessica examines this and that and I (not so) patiently wonder if I'll EVER get a look at my child.

At least fifteen minutes later, she consents to give me a glimpse. Even after she's angled the screen as far as it will turn toward me, I still have to contort my body and use both my hands to pry my head into a position that affords a mediocre, sideways view of the screen.

Well, we had a good long go at it, long enough that both my arms had fallen asleep and the crick in my neck was making me cranky. Ultimately the one I have to blame for my greatest disappointment is my own unborn fetus! There it lay, all comfortably snuggled up with legs pressed together and ankles crossed.

So, clearly a girl, right!?

I knew this could happen, of course, but I was still in a daze of disbelief when I walked out of that office after an hour-long ordeal and knew nothing new of my child. I even remembered to ask if everything looked healthy and normal, and she couldn't even answer that! "Oh, your doctor will look at the pictures and let you know." When I see her in a month! Oh well, if the baby had an extra arm or something, I probably would've noticed myself.

Well, I had planned to dedicate this afternoon to shopping for baby girl accessories, so I'm just gonna go ahead and do that now anyway. Erik had a dream last night that he's having a baby sister, so I'm going to stick with that. Should've just stuck with his intuition in the first place-- cheaper than an ultrasound, at least.


blaine and michelle said...

Boo! No cool. It's a girl anyways. Maybe insurance will cover another one. Immediately.

Brooke said...

So disappointing Tiff! I suppose you know this kind of thing is always a possibility, but you never REALLY think it will happen. Your doctor is going to do a redo in a month, right?? P.S. I hate insurance.

Kendra said...

I'm so sorry!!!! Even just reading the post I was anxious for the "reveal" at the end of the post.... and I felt such a let down when there wasn't one there. :( I'm sorry! What a bummer of a day - in place of what was supposed to be such a wonderful day. Lame. I have no words of comfort - I'm just sorry. Well... I hope that you still somehow get to find out what you are having soon!!!

Amy said...

What an ordeal! Yes, I do think it's a girl (of course it is ;-) That is such a mean thing to do to a pregnant gal - send her away from her ultrasound! I'm glad you stayed and got it anyways and I'm sorry the baby was uncooperative. I read your post about pregnancy. So sweet. I too felt magnified emotions with the fourth. I think you appreciate it more. And, I read your post about Erik. What a sweetheart! I too have two boys who could not be more different. And, even though Ian is 8 now, he still has a special place in his heart for his mom. I hope it lasts like that with Erik for you. Hang in there sister!

sara said...

oh my goodness! That's horrible. I skipped to the end hoping that you would've posted the sex at the end and then I couldn't find it! I agree that it's a girl. It has to be. If Eric dreamt it, it must be true! My insurance tried to pull something like that on me too and I actually did have to wait like an extra 4 weeks until they were able to provide the ultrasound place with a "diagnosis". Uh, pregnant, that's the diagnosis!

Marilyn said...

What a terrible thing to go through. Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed. Can't wait to hear if it's a girl or a boy. Don't count on kids dreams. My friend Betty's son dreamed she was pregnant with a little girl, and it was a boy. Sorry.

nimbus said...

I'm dreaming of a baby girl too. Well, it is a dream that you are haveing a girl. Now that sounds better.

Heather said...

I'm so sorry. I've read this post twice now and laughed and laughed...because it wasn't me. I would have been bawling if it was me. Trust me though, it's not THAT weird to have 4 kids before your 7th anniversary. I have 2 siblings whom have already done this. I know that it's scary. Craig and I will now be outnumbered and that's a scary thing ... plus we'll have to buy a family car because 3 carseats won't fit in the back of a 4 door vehicle ... lots of changes. I just hope he gets a job after he graduates in Dec. or we're really going to be in trouble! Hang in there, girl.

By the way, the next time you see me I may resemble an elephant. While in Peru Craig has taken me out to eat EVERY single night because it's easier than buying all the stuff to cook. I've turned into a fatty. It's a good thing it's cold here so I can hide my bulges with layers of clothes. I'm going to be in trouble when I head back to AZ in 2 weeks.