Today my big little girl changed our lives forever (by limiting the flexibility of my schedule) and entered the public school system.
Last week we briefly met her teacher and discovered the classroom.
Today she cruised down the monkey bars and owned that kindergarten class. She will be a super star. If her teacher wants one, she'll be her pet. This girl is ready to shine.
Just over half-way through this shpeel and finally me and my big-bellied self made it into a photo! My intention was to look all content and maternally glowy, by the way, not sweaty and sleepy. Alas, I am all of the above. Honestly, this middle trimester has been lovely. I'm a wee bit frightened about the coming months, however, as this belly's only gettin bigger... 
We did it again! As of June 3rd, we survived another year of Charlie! To commemorate, I dusted off last year's decor and threw him a celebratory little shindig. I didn't even switch out the photos from his first year of life, but hey! There were cake bites (a la Mish) so he didn't seem to mind.
Yup, this kid sure can drive me crazy. Crazy crazy crazy in love.
It's time to resurrect three-word-captions.
Seven of us.
Together four days.
Party without kids.
Historic gum wall.
Everyone else cooked.
Riveting breakfast conversation.
Creme brulee french. (toast) (sorry for cheating)
Freedom to nap.
Braved Pacific Ocean.
Kayaked against wind.
Narrowly escaped killerseals.
That water's cold.
Naomi's water adventure.
Nerds at heart. (but lovable ones)
Terrible, cheesy movie.
Beautiful beach day.
Crazy body surfers.
Family picture time.
There we go.
All look same...
...nine years ago.
Fifteen kids now.
Must reunionize again!
P.S. Montana de Oro.
Love those girls. Really, I do.
Now that I've gotten my truest, foremost feelings out about being pregnant (in this post), I might as well confess that I'm also pretty scared. No, not constantly plagued with worries, but the nagging feelings are there.
See, I'm already weird. I'm a Mormon. A water-birther. A raw-plant-food-eater. A home-schooler. Just kidding. But still, four kids before our seventh wedding anniversary? Might be the weirdest of all, even for mainstream Mormon culture. (No really, check your stats next sacrament meeting.) That's cool and all-- many who want to have four kids by their seventh wedding anniversary are unable to, for a multitude of reasons. This all still feeds into my growing awareness that there is nothing "normal" about my lifestyle, and a fourth baby will certainly turn whatever is familiar and comfortable about my current life upside down and inside out.
I said earlier in this post that I just don't love babies. I was a little severe, but truly I am not eager to reenter the world of chaos, sleep deprivation, and social isolation that is raising an infant. The schedule cramped by nap times and frequent feedings, the juggling of household tasks and disciplining older children with one hand, the sheer madness that is running errands.
Yes, mothering small children is not for the faint of heart. I made the choice to have this child, as I've done three other times, almost purely on faith in a force much greater than myself. As I consider the practical details, though, I am already baffled and overwhelmed.
I know everything will work out fine. It always does. But... how? I have no answer and feel so very unprepared to have four smallies always with me at home. Five months' time... that's all I've got to resolve these sentiments...
