Still waiting for Amelia

Well I'm still here, spending Thanksgiving at home rather than the hospital. That's a good thing, I know.

At the same time, I'm getting the inkling that the only way I'm going to get a smidget of relief from the intense back pain that seized me on Monday is to expel this fetus.

First I suspected a pinched nerve, and then posterior orientation (baby's skull against my spine instead of her nice, squishy face). But with the severity of my soreness and a steady decrease in mobility (today walking/shuffling around is a serious struggle and standing up straight as-of-yet impossible), I am more and more at a loss as to the cause.

I would very much like to go into labor spontaneously. I no longer feel a need to accomplish a thing before Amelia's grand entrance, which is good because there's only so much that can be achieved from a solid existence on the couch.

The idea of back labor terrifies me, though. My lumbars are already so messed up right now that contractions on top of this pain might drive me out of the water and straight into the anesthesiologist's arms.

I recognize that worse things could happen to a person than an epidural, or even a c-section. Emotionally, I am not-at-all prepared for those alternatives, but I believe I must try to be.

I guess all I can really say is that this Thanksgiving I am grateful to have Kyle's parents, Mish, Kjerstin, and Kyle around to help. I am completely useless as a matriarch right now and they have all stepped up in ways I deeply appreciate. And the fun has only begun! This is shaping up to be quite a memorable holiday season.