Here's a little riddle for you:

Three little monkeys jumping on the bed. One fell with his hard skull onto another one's face which knocked her front tooth out of whack, blood, screaming, yadda yadda.

Mama called the family-friend-dentist and the dentist said, "That tooth's a goner, oh and so is the other one [that's been loose since a cranial collision months ago] so I'll probably pull them both out tomorrow so you can eat and breath and talk and not look like an ogre again."

And no more monkeys jumping on the bed or you'll all end up looking like THIS!

Gruesome stuff, no? She's been a tough cookie about it all, even refusing medication. We'll see what happens when the power tools are before her tomorrow...

In the meantime, still plenty of shenaniganism to go around.

(Charlie took that one of Erik.)

More about me!

-Yay! Kyle is home from his T-bird stint across China. He loved it. He ate it up. He wants to live there again... For now, we are happy to be a family of five again. I'm thinking about sending him off to Abu-Dhabi or the likes on a regular basis because he came back SO appreciative of me. Good stuff.

-Also, why can't I ever go to bed? Help! No seriously, I don't think I've gone to bed early once in my life, nor have I been on time to anything (on purpose) once in my life. I got a failing mark in punctuality on my 2nd grade report card and never improved. I want to go bed earlier so I'm not such a scary and negligent mother each and every morning. Are we truly born as early-birds or night-owls? If so, is there still hope for me to change my natural body clock orientation? If so, HOW?! This is the only me I have ever known, and I honestly don't know how to change, but my family desperately needs me to. Please help.

-Speaking of great movies, here's one you ought to watch: He Loves Me, He Loves Me Not. It's French and it's fabulous. No no, fabouleuse. I can't say anything else about it, so just trust me, because I like very few films. Don't read any reviews, either, because they'll give things away, too. Just believe me that it's refreshingly original with the perfect amount of complexity and weightiness, and amazingly (because c'est francais, after all), no nudity! Watch it. Then make sure to tell me how much you loved it.

-Speaking of love sweet love, that's just how I feel about momhood. Drudgery between them, motherhood is magical moments that no other career can touch. It is the stuff heaven's made of. God is raising me as I raise my kids, and I'm absolutely convinced I'm doing the greatest work on earth. Yay for moms! We are truly amazing. (And it's okay to think that, too!)

-Christmas is officially next on the to-blog list, but for now, here's just a little something to celebrate: A Day in the Life of a Bushy-Backed Sea-slug, a series by me and my lil' Mish.

(A bit of background: It all started when Mish and I got a kick out of Mom's wig being dropped on various shelves around my house, including by my nativity set. Yep, that's all the inspiration Mish needed.)









Love,
Tiff
(just felt romantic, I dunno)

trying to recoup

Okay,

1. Thank you, truly, for your supportive comments in response to my last post. You are wise and kind friends and fam and your encouragement makes a great difference to me.

2. Things, of course, improved the very next day. Erik had a couple rough weeks, and then suddenly got his act together and hasn't thrown a monster tantrum since. I still tried to schedule an appointment for him to be evaluated and admitted into a developmental preschool, but now I'm not so sure he'd qualify... how fickle of me, I know.

3. I wish I could say I'm feeling fine now, but truthfully, the massive speeding ticket AND criminal charge I was saddled with yesterday have been weighing me down considerably. Of course I have my excuses, nothing that would soften the charge whatsoever (heartless man), and now I have to appear in court next week and pay some hefty fines, plus the usual traffic school nonsense. I feel so demoralized and frustrated and depressed about this. I bawled uncontrollably the whole way home, despite Ellie's concerted efforts to console me. I embroidered and watched Penelope clips on SNL last night to get my mind off the matter, but then there the papers were this morning, tainting my clean kitchen counter with their unholy writ. So... Kyle will be home tomorrow. That will be good. Please pray with me that I don't get the likes of Judge Judy to reckon with in court.

4. On a lighter and happier note, of course I'm not pregnant, you silly dears! I'm falling apart as it is, and even if I wasn't, I'm not willing to risk destroying my marriage for another daughter. At least if I were preggie, though, I'd have an excuse for all the blubbering I've been up to lately!

5. On an even lighter and happier note,

my Ma is invincible.

Festivities

Kyle is off in some faraway land living and eating it up and our camera card went with him, so a recap of the full season of Christmas will have to wait. However, I was able to recover quite a few gems from Ma's camera. Here's just a wee sampling of what we've been up to the past month.

Post-Christmas clearance rack raids,


Bean box adventures (most of which have consisted of emptying the box of beans as quickly and wildly as possible... is this truly better than sand?),

Yes, all that Christmas stuff (including a complete FAIL at that "slim Christmas" I'd hoped to create),

New matchy-matchy church clothes,

and some assorted odd encounters...

Ma has been saintly to stay with us (and Bob, too) while Kyle's gallivanting from one Chinese urban center to another. Bob has another dr. appt. so they'll stay until next week for that. Having another mom around is oh-so-helpful, and yet I'm most grateful for Ma's presence when I hit the light at night and all the morbid stories she's lovingly shared over the years come flooding into my memory.

The kids (actually just the boys) have been awful crazy lately, and I cope by going on clearance rack shopping sprees on a regular basis (and devouring entire batches of cookies at a time-- no shortage of food junk around with Ma in town). It makes me feel a little better, at least until Kyle's sees the bills.

Every seasoned mother would tell me to cherish this time when my children are young and malleable because "they grow up so fast," but so far they're growing up terrible sluggish-like. Seriously. Way slower than average, I'm pretty sure.

And yet, I'm sure my dissatisfaction is rooted in selfishness and ingratitude. When I get humbled out of my moodiness, I'll realize that someday I'll look back and won't remember how crazed and ultra-stressful these days are.

That's why I'm writing this now. I don't want to forget how awful raising my boys is right now. It's the PITS, for the record. Let's just say that I'm glad I had Ellie first so I would want to have more kids. If Erik was my first toddler or Charlie was my first baby, there may not have ever been siblings.

Alas, there will be more. I've pinky sworn to Ellie she'll get a sister.