Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Deep thoughts by E & E

That little quote corner at the bottom of my sidebar very much resembles many corners of my life. A little cluttered and a lot neglected. But eventually, I will get around to everything. Tonight, I am getting around to these. Just for the archives, here are quotes from that time we lived in China, and more recent ones follow.

"Mom, Didi is my brudder. And you are my mudder. And Didi is your son. And you are my child."

"Mom, I like my chest. I like your chest, too."

"Mom, please turn over so you don't blow air in my face." (Even though she was the one crawling into MY bed in the middle of the night.)

"Ellie, when we go back to America, would you like to go to Dis-ney-laaaand?"
"No, I want to go to church."

"Mom, hurry eat your sandwich before a shark eats it!"

(while stripping his pants for a bath) "Oh Didi, cute feet, cute legs, cute knees! You're so cute I wanna DIET!"

"Ellie, what do you like to do?"
"Dance! In a pretty dress!" [little shimmy]
"Oh, and how do you dance?"
"..... pretty good!"

"Heavenly Father, thankful for my pasta, Didi's pasta, Mommy's pasta... Name-a-Jesus Christ, Amen. . . OH NO! My Jesus! Heavenly Father, thankful for my Jesus. Name-a-Jesus Christ, Amen."

"Ellie, would you like to take a bubble bath, like Ernie?"
"Yes. Maybe someday."

"Mom, I can't close the door! Your bum is too fat!"

"I not can know how-a talk."

"I wanna be a baby bird and live in a nest in a chocolate egg."

[anytime while naked...] "My BUM! It's so cute!"

I realize a lot of these aren't funny without full context, or without hearing the intonation and pronunciation, or without knowing these kids, or without being utterly obsessed and enamored with them. Okay, moving on....

El: (coming down the stairs without taking a nap, in melancholy tone) Mommy, I want a bad consequence.

Kyle laid down with Ellie at naptime but after a while she still didn't sleep so he got up to go and she said, "Daddy, you're like the Holy Ghost. When I'm good, you stay near and when I'm bad, you go far away."

El: (blowing seeds off stem of a dandelion weed) I wish I wish with all my might to clean up my room!

El: (having a meltdown while going potty before a nap) is it broken? (about the towel rack)
Ky: yes
El: (crying) now we can't live here anymore!

Ellie was saying the bedtime family prayer, leaning over Erik's bed, who was upset because HE wanted to say the prayer...
El: Dear Heavenly Father... grateful for [this and that], grateful for Erik (then he starts hitting her on the head), he's not being very nice right now, grateful for Grandma, [etc.].

El: (about Erik who had pizza sauce on both sides of his mouth) Erik has two things on his mouth so he looks like a beaver!

T: I sure love that Erik boy
Er: (wistfully) yeah, me too

El: (singing quickly to the tune of Twinkle Twinkle Little Star) ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya-ya, you are baptized I am not!

El: Erik will you share your fruit roll-up with me-- yes or no?
Er: no!
El: Erik will you share it with me-- yes or no?
Er: no!
El: Erik, will you share it with me-- yes or dance?
(after this we gave the kids that option-- yes or dance-- for a while, so at least we got some entertainment if they didn't choose yes)

ALL the time,
Er: where my bat-guy? (batman figurine)
Er: No! I do it my-by-felf!

In light of Erik's recent fascination with superheroes, Ellie assigned superpowers to the family in our house:
Daddy- run really fast
Ellie- do flips
Erik- break people out of jail
Grandma- if people need $, she gives them $
Aunt Mish- if people are hungry, she goes to the store to buy food for them
Mommy- give people puzzles
Uncle Bob- doesn't have a super power; he's the bad guy trying to destroy the world
Charlie- eat fat milk

Ellie's dinner prayer included emphatic declarations of gratitude such as,
-I'm SO grateful that there are so many kids who know me, and love me
-I'm SO grateful our family loves each other so much
-I'm SO grateful tomorrow's my birthday party-- (big sigh)-- I'm so filled with joy!
-I'm SO grateful me and Carter are getting married

Playing hide-and-seek, Erik was the seeker but only counted to one before hunting out Ellie. When I asked him why he didn't count to ten,
Er: because I'm lazy


El: (about her tadpole, who died shortly thereafter) Her name is Gigi, and she will always be alive.

El: I'm so smart, my brain spins around and round in my head!

El: Let's play Mom and Dad! I'll be your aunt, Mama.
Er: and I'll be your grasshopper.

El: I know some people followed Satan.
Er: I know Daddy has a beard like Jesus. (actually he doesn't)


While Ellie's making goo-goo faces at Char while Kyle holds him,
T: I can't believe after six months Ellie is still doting over Charlie.
Mish: You're still doting over him.
T: Yes, but I've had many years to learn to care about someone more than myself.
Kyle gets up with Char and walks away.
El: Oh Char, I miss you!

GPS: Take [the] exit and bear left.
T: Bear left? What does that mean?
El: What they're trying to say is turn left and then look very carefully for a picture of a bear.

Carter: (as he's leaving) Remember you're going to marry me-- okay?
El: ...(long pause)... maybe. Bye!
Later I inquired and she said,
El: I'll wait and see if someone else wants to marry me first.

Er: (while stacking odd-shaped toys in front of the dresser to reach Kyle's bag of tortilla chips) I need spicy chips... because I have a beard.

El: Nobody is best-er than my baby brother in the whole wide world!

El: Aunt Mish, will Teancum (pet turtle) die at Christmas?
M: No, why?
El: Because Christmas is a long time away.

Er: (out of the unrelated blue) Does Holden eat asparagus?

El: (whispering to Mom after Dad left the room) Tomorrow I'm going to give Daddy LOVE. Shhhh! Don't tell him because it's his Christmas present!

T: Can I have a taste of your ice cream?
Er: Umm, uh, sure! That's so nice of me!

El: We ate mini hot dogs, but they're not shaped like Minnie Mouse.


T: what did you learn in primary today?
El: to follow Jesus
T: how do we do that?
El: by doing what He asks us to
T: right, like what?
El: like if He asks us to build a bridge, we do it! But He doesn't ask me to because I'm too small.
T: then what does Jesus ask YOU to do?
El: (thinks for a minute)... be cute!

As Charlie's screaming, Erik starts in, too.
Er: Charlie makes me cry because... I'm Erik!

Er: (in crazy expressive voice) Charlie's a NOODLE! I need to EAT the noodle!

T: whatever happened to eating five fruits and vegetables every day?
El: not every day, every month!

El: we're running away... to the Promised Land!

About meeting Snow White,
T: Did you get to talk to Snow White?
El: yeah, she's pretty nice. Pretty pretty pretty pretty pretty nice.

El: Here's a bite of my eggs, Erik. That's how much I love Erik.
T: You love him one-bite-of-eggs worth?
El: I love him 51 pieces of my eggs. This small, teeny piece-- look, Mom, this little crumb-- that's how we count Erik's love for me.

Erik is a natural at the game Props, in which you take an odd-shaped object and, in charades fashion, act out a scene pretending it's something else. He applies this game to life. In the past hour he's vacuumed the room with a crib mobile, played baseball with a crib pole and balloon, worn a net for a hat, and zoomed Memory game tiles as cars along an elephant trunk track.

K: What can we do to have healthy bodies?
Er: We don't want crying carrots in our house because they're rude to the carrots.

My son, the contrarian...
T: you went pee pee in the potty? I'm so proud of you!
Er: not proud of myself

T: You don't have to say 'no' to everything. It's fun to be positive. Being positive makes me happy!
Er: No, being happy makes me sad.

T: Can you go cheer up Daddy? I think he needs some Ellie love.
El: (goes over to his room and says to Kyle) I love you, you're the greatest dad ever! Do you know what I love best about you? All of your hugs.
K: why?
El: when you hug me, my heart beats SO fast in love!
El: (runs back to me and says) Mom, know what I said to Daddy? I told him he's the best dad ever. However, I have TWO dads. (Heavenly Father) But I cheered him up!
She really did.

El: (pretending to be Erik's aunt) I want to get married but I know a boy has to ask me, but I ran through the whole town trying to find a boy to marry me, but everyone was asleep! (sigh of exasperation)

Er: (calmly, while we're driving out of Costco parking lot) Mmmm, this water tastes good but can you strap me in? (this is notable because usually he's full out tantruming if I forget to strap him in)

T: ...and maybe leprechauns will leave us some candy!
Er: yeah and maybe the leprechauns will wear leprechaun undies and go on the leprechaun potty and get leprechaun candy!

El: Hey Dad!
K: yeah?
El: you know what?
K: what?
El: when I hurt you, I still love you!

El: Daddy is Dad's hero.

Er: (while eating yogurt) I want something else to eat that's good. But not broccoli.

El: These are my babies. His name is Kelntson...
T: Kelson?
El: No, Kelntson
T: Keltson?
El: NO, Kelntson!
T: Oh, Kelntson.
El: and this is Zelntson.
T: and you are the Momelntson?
El: No, I'm Sally.

El: Erik, blow your nose and then kiss me!
Er: No no, I'm a mean one. Mr. Grinch.

El: Dad, do dogs lay puppies in the spring?

Er: No no, I'm making this to save our tummies from the cwah-da-diles and the shocks. (crocodiles and sharks)

El: (trying to distract Char as he's climbing on Kyle and clawing his face) Charlie, here's a tiger to defeat.

T: we're having the missionaries for dinner.
Er: Ewwwww! Missionaries are yucky! (to eat)

K: Erik, what job do you want to do when you grow up?
Er: I want to play a drum
K: you want to be a drummer?
Er: yes, and you will play your guitar. Pretend I have a lot of money and I buyed a drum!

Er: (while I'm cleaning or doing something unrelated) Mama, you are so reverent to share your (imaginary) hot chocolate with Heavenly Father and your friends.

K: You disobeyed so I have to take away your Polly Pockets.
El: No, not Polly Pockets! I wanted you to take away my carrots! (stuffed carrots serving as Easter decor in the living room)

El: (while I'm using a plastic flower pot to shovel) is that your dirt shovel?
T: No, but we don't have a shovel so I'm just using this.
El: Oh, so we don't have dirt shovels in THIS life?

El: (looking in my dresser drawer) Mom is this ALL your underwear?
T: yep
El: and this? and this?
T: yep
El: you have a LOT of underwear, Mom.
T: thanks
El: yeah, it's not nice to say, "you don't have a lot of underwear"

Ellie telling Daddy how we threw pennies in a fountain today,
El: but we can't tell you what we wished or it won't come true
Er: (in low whisper, only to me) I want to tell you what I wished for
I smile and lean my ear closer
Er: I wished that I could frow (throw) a penny in the fountain.

El: (while eating dinner) this is like the sacrament, cuz we get to EAT!

After telling her the Easter dinner menu for tomorrow,
El: That's a lot of dinner to make-- you need a servant!
T: yes I do!
El: The servant is me.

Aunt Mish attending General Conference live
T: We should look for Aunt Mish on tv, but we probably won't see her because there are so many people.
El: But we will if she comes up and buries her testimony!

El: Charlie bit my finger!

El: Charlie took his pants off! Look at how cute it is!

Somewhere Over the Rainbow by Iz comes on the radio,
Er: I don't like this song. It's scary. Can we go to other ones?
T: Yes, but it's not scary. It's about rainbows. Are you scared of rainbows?
Er: No, just mean, talking rainbows.

El: Mom, the Polly Pocket shoe fell down the vent.
T: Oh, too bad. I guess it's gone forever.
Er: yeah, because if we go down there our undies will get dirty.

El: I'm from Europe.
Er: Yeah, and I'm from Syrup!

T: what was your favorite animal at the museum?
Er: the cat
T: the bobcat?
Er: yeah, the bobcat eating the turkey, because (singing) "everybody wants to be a cat!" (from Disney's Aristocats)

Er: Ma, can you open it? I'm not stronger enough, but you're stronger like Superman!

El: (singing) M-O-I-P-X-A-P-H-I... Gastooooooooon!

El: (first time she's ever asked this) Daddy, when are you going to get a new job?
K: good question
T: why do you want Daddy to get a new job?
El: so I can see him every day at dinner. (she already does)
Er: you ALWAYS want Daddy to get a new job!

El: You know what, sometimes I talk to my "spirit friends." You can't see them, but you can talk to them!

Er: When I turn three, I will go back to potty school. (with tone of resignation) Here we go again!

Er: (naming who went on Noah's ark) two elephants, two rattlesnakes, two guitars, two missionaries, two eyeballs, two Erik's -- wait a minute! Not two Erik's! (this was inspired by Grandpa's telling of the story)

T: Char, why do you think it's okay to scream like that? Because of your cute face? Yeah, you're banking on it.
El: Bacon on it is the BEST!

El: (unloading silverware) I feel like I AM Cinderella!


Cathi said...

I read all of them! So funny. I can't wait for Mark to get old enough to talk. I just hope I will be as dedicated as you in writing them down! Props on your kids learning the gospel so well.

Kendra said...

Hilarious!! I love it. I am glad that you have them all recorded. What a treasure.

sara said...

Those were great! I see a lot of church related material - good for you!

Anonymous said...

Wow. That is so fun to read.

Bethany said...

These were so fun to read! What great memories to keep track of for your kids to read later.

nimbus said...

LOL. Kids are so fun. Thanks for sharing.

Stephanie said...

Aww, too cute!