If Huckabee wouldn't have won the election prior to this unprecedented endorsement, now there's no question he'll successfully roundhouse kick his way to the White House via Chuck Norris' steel-toed boot. I'm sure the media has hysterically covered this power convergence in the States, but for me here in China, this alliance is fantastically new. Though I hadn't planned on voting for Huckabee, the mere fact that Chuck Norris "tells America how it's gonna be" leaves all of us without a choice. But before we call the campaigning off just yet, here me out...
Possibly, the only way to combat Huckabee's forceful campaign is to immediately unite his opponents with other outdated (yet fiercely motivating) superhumans before Chuck's "third fist" takes any compelling action. Here are my suggestions:
MC Hammer -to add youthful energy and machine-like precision (McCain?)
Mr. T -to master the art of "recouping" (Guliani?)
Darth Vader - bringing fear to a new level (Clinton?)
Those 5 kids whose powers combine to make Captain Planet (Romney?)
Run DMC -help with foreign affairs policy and criminal justice (Obama?)
If they don't work out, we'll need to summon the secretive powers of:
Max Headroom, Tay Zonday, Robert Van Winkle, the Star Wars Kid, Mr. Roboto, Tito Jackson, or any of the Fratelli Brothers from the Goonies will be just fine.
Who would you suggest?
16 hours ago