Now that I've gotten my truest, foremost feelings out about being pregnant (in this post), I might as well confess that I'm also pretty scared. No, not constantly plagued with worries, but the nagging feelings are there.
See, I'm already weird. I'm a Mormon. A water-birther. A raw-plant-food-eater. A home-schooler. Just kidding. But still, four kids before our seventh wedding anniversary? Might be the weirdest of all, even for mainstream Mormon culture. (No really, check your stats next sacrament meeting.) That's cool and all-- many who want to have four kids by their seventh wedding anniversary are unable to, for a multitude of reasons. This all still feeds into my growing awareness that there is nothing "normal" about my lifestyle, and a fourth baby will certainly turn whatever is familiar and comfortable about my current life upside down and inside out.
I said earlier in this post that I just don't love babies. I was a little severe, but truly I am not eager to reenter the world of chaos, sleep deprivation, and social isolation that is raising an infant. The schedule cramped by nap times and frequent feedings, the juggling of household tasks and disciplining older children with one hand, the sheer madness that is running errands.
Yes, mothering small children is not for the faint of heart. I made the choice to have this child, as I've done three other times, almost purely on faith in a force much greater than myself. As I consider the practical details, though, I am already baffled and overwhelmed.
I know everything will work out fine. It always does. But... how? I have no answer and feel so very unprepared to have four smallies always with me at home. Five months' time... that's all I've got to resolve these sentiments...
30 Easter Basket Stuffers for 2024
8 months ago
5 comments:
All I can say is it's a good thing kids come so cute, because it makes all that misery worth something. With your party planning skills, I'm sure you'll be just fine catering to your little crowd of 4 and being a fantastic mom along the way.
What?? Having 4 kids in 5 years is WEIRD?? WHY DID NO ONE TELL ME?? Just kidding. But if I can do it I certainly know that you can, as you are way cooler and more capable and less lazy than me. Your kids are lucky to have you!
If it makes you feel any better just statistically, I knew someone who had 4 under the age of 3. (A set of twins in there.) And then had more later, I believe. Also, TWO other friends have 7 or 8 -- I've seriously lost count -- and their oldests are Sage's age or younger. In other words, hang on, you're not falling off the edge of normal OR sanity yet. And they'll be more and more a cohesive group, those sibs, and that will make a big difference. Good luck...
Yes, you are on quite an ambitious child bearing schedule. But, you are lovely and doing a marvelous job. These kids are lucky to have you. You will find your way. And, I adore you for not being "normal." :-)
Love you, Tiff. You can do it. :)
Post a Comment