Saturday, July 05, 2008

This can't be right...

Kyle's ice cream flavor personality is:


Is this what my life has come to? The way I see it, the only connection I have to Vanilla ice cream is a shameful yet persistent urge to buy to Rapper Vanilla Ice's 1991 big screen cult classic,"Cool as Ice."



So, how can this be? Vanilla ice cream is not only boring, but also completely dependent on other flavors and add-ins to truly be enjoyable (with the exception of Breyer's Vanilla Bean recipe). I guarantee that if I took this scientific Internet survey 5 years ago, I would be something much more exciting and in-your-face like...

...a 4-gallon tub of Birthday Cake flavored ice cream with frosting swirls, sprinkles, and other sugary goodness. I would be so potent that one spoonful of my delight erases all signs of sleepiness for another 5-6 hours, at least, when taken late in the night, and may even temporarily cure my narcoleptic compatriots. Of course, there would be a Mr. T design on top when you open the delicious, energetic, and motivational tub of inspiration. There's no way I'm plain vanilla, right? I'm way more complex than that.

I need some encouragement... and not that "there's a lot of great things about vanilla" bologna. I'm looking for the truth-mingled lying variety that will falsely build my self-esteem until I can come to terms with my current boring personality traits on my own time table. Sorry, Tiffany. Sorry to all of you, for what I have become.

6 comments:

Tana & Braden said...

I just took the quiz & I'm vanilla too! THIS IS BOGUS! There is something seriously wrong with this quiz. maybe we should take it and pick the least likely option and see what happens.

On the other hand, vanilla goes with everything, and it is rather pure.

Bryce said...

Personally, I think China has sapped the excitement out of your life, hence the vanilla. I mean, have you even seen any Mr. T look-alikes or interesting ice cream flavors there? I rest my case.

Joe & Christie said...

What's wrong with "popular and relaxing?" As a fellow Vanilla bean, I understand your initial despair. However, looking more closely at the other flavors, we should scoff at their fleeting nature and superfluous complexities. We know what we wan... We don't fall prey to the corporate fat cats!

SKISLN said...

I'm vanilla too, and here's the truth--vanilla is actually my favorite flavor (Just ask Kristin). Vanilla is low key but versatile, goes with everything, tastes good with every topping, and never goes out of style. In short, a classic. Be proud. Everyone comes back to us sooner or later.

Kristin said...

OK, so a while back there was a site that you could upload your family pictures to and it would use face-recognizing-type software to tell you who your kids looked like on a lookalike meter. We wanted to know if Ian really did look just like S. as we always hear, and if there were any traces of me in the other kids. The result? According to this nifty modern gadgetry, ALL of them were 50/50 looking like both of us. I was suspicious.

As I am now. I was vanilla too...

mmm.chocolate said...

My dad's favorite flavor is vanilla and my mom loves chocolate, chocolate and more chocolate with chunks of fudge brownies and chocolate sprinkles on top. So, there's been this on-going, one-sided debate (my dad versus the rest of the family) about whether or not vanilla is even actually a flavor.

Now, that I've reached a certain level of maturity, I have to say, that I really like a high quality vanilla over some of the more fancy flavors. I'm sure you are one of the high-quality vanillas, not one with cheap imitation flavoring.